Antibiotics what are they good for? Quiet a lot but it’s not all roses

So last week I had a virus that hit me really hard and made he quiet weak, spiking temperatures upwards of 38.8c so in my weakened state other things like to jump on me. So I started having shortness of breath and a congested feeling so back to GP I went for third time in 10 days. My chest was clear on listening, my sats and pulse was ok but I was given amoxicillin because how I felt and my neutropenic condition.

Now don’t get me wrong I need the antibiotics but that doesn’t mean there is not down sides. So I think everyone knows the ‘normal’ side effects of antibiotics like digestive distress, nausea etc the ‘mundane’ things people expect even if diarrhoea can be dangerous to a person with a stoma it generally manageable. There is at least in me a more insidious issue these drugs bring to me, so when I get prescribed these I am generally not in the best of places physically or mentally to start with. They lower my mood and make me feel depressed, it doesn’t help recovery when you don’t want to do anything and everything you do is so much harder just because of your mood.

When I am unwell I have to force myself to get up and not just lay in my bed because I know it won’t help me get better. The psychological effects of medication can have a huge impact on a patients recovery and I think this is a side effect that isn’t talked about and it leaves patients left feeling pretty shitty about themselves because they don’t know what is going on. So here is an espresso blog post to try and help you understand antibiotics effect you in more ways than you think. If antibiotics make you feel down please tell someone, while they can’t change how they will effect you they can help support you through it. Do not suffer in silence, their are no medals in life, we all need to help each other through our hard times so we can get back to shining.

If you like this concept of short blogs on one idea let me know and tell me other things you’d like to hear about?

The light and the Dark: How the hard times are hard

So I’ve been having a hard time at the moment, writing has been really hard as my creativity has been  fleeting at best. The stresses of life and my physical health holding me back, being my best self is tough. So right now I am just having a pity party but I’ll get there with the help of my good friends like Mitochondrial St.eve , Kate Tantam , Louise Gallie , Dr Nitin Arora , Dr Heidi Lindroth and Dr Segun Olusanya So I have worked on this poem, well I am not sure it’s really a poem it’s more of a moan, so if you could indulging me by reading it. Thank you everyone, we are all people on the boat trying to sail to where we want to go.

Ok so some safety and administration so Trigger warnings

Suicidal thoughts,

Depression,

Emotional abuse,

Self deprecation,

Moaning.

Stay safe 

When I was born, I spread my wings,

Came into the world filled with love,

Brought up in a good home,

Worked hard to be the best me I can be.

But my eyes didn't want me to reach there,

Crossing themselves making it hard to read,
Under the knife, I went to sort it out aged 5,
Eyes straight now back on the grind.

But these words are making me stressed,
The letters dancing on the page,
Dyslexia, causing stress on my brain,
Told I am not that clever,
Ain't no Einstein,
True that's a fact,
I see further by standing on the shoulders of Giants.

They told me I'd never be a writer,
Told me I wasn't a fighter,
Told me my star wouldn't get brighter,
Told me I was worth less than I was.

As I grew, saw where my talents lay,
Science made me like I belonged,
What mattered to me was the bonds,
I got my grind on studying hard,
Every page had to read a couple dozen times,
To make sure it sunk in.

I was swimming in a world of words,
Letters swimming over the page,
Until my 30's never knew where and were, were different,
My health trying to break me as I study,
Hospital admission every 3 months,
Exams 2 weeks in the hospital,
Stress not something I coped with.

Made it to University with grades they didn't expect,
Got that Higher English C,
Told me I couldn't so I did it,
But University was a different kettle of fish,
More support but more stress, more deterioration,
Body starting to give out, UC nearly ended me,
Bowel removed in an emergency,
Screaming please kill me please,
Praying to return to my maker.

Surgery sorted me out,
No pain when I didn't know I had been in pain,
But going forward my immune system made life hard,
Now I look at my body covered in scars,
They are defeats but also what I overcame.

Then in ICU I found myself,
That time was tough,
Endless fighting but never gave up,
Scars that where left messed me up,
Anxiety, depression and PTSD,
These my new friends which numbered three.

Recovery from ICU long time it does take,
Every once in a while my brain it will break,
Leaving me staring down the abyss of fate,
But my friends I hold dear, support me here,
even when my heart is filled with fear.

Life it goes on but not easily,
Struggles and strain,
Daily overcome,
It's hard sometimes it's not a lot of fun,
But remember these word when you feel overrun,
You're a Rehab Legend each and every one,
We support each other through the bad times that come.