Men’s Mental health awareness month

 

After ICU my brain as scrambled as can be,

Needed some help maybe some cbt,

Nearly a year I spent struggling with anxiety and ptsd,

Shows the fucks you gave about me.

I could have been gone instead I hung on,

It was real close programming and anger got me through,

But if I shared in those days people where gone,

One good thing is it showed who was my crew.

Everyone saw the shiny armour I wore,

Not the daggers it drove into me making me bleed,

They didn’t see I was broken to the core,

They did not offer the hand I needed.

I found my feet again in the ashes of myself,

ICU burned a lot out of me changing what me meant,

Left me with pieces that no longer fitted together,

Trying to be a me that no longer exists.

I have scars I can’t look in the mirror to see,

I have scars that mean I can’t look in the mirror,

I have scars that killed the 2015 me,

I have scars that give me pain everyday,

I have scars that I know I will get more of.

I am the best me I will ever be right now,

To me that’s pretty messed up as I’m broken,

I’m held together by my force of will and love,

I will get to a stage where I can’t battle anymore,

When that day comes who will shed a tear?

Likely 5-10 people but they will matter because they loved me