After ICU my brain as scrambled as can be,
Needed some help maybe some cbt,
Nearly a year I spent struggling with anxiety and ptsd,
Shows the fucks you gave about me.
I could have been gone instead I hung on,
It was real close programming and anger got me through,
But if I shared in those days people where gone,
One good thing is it showed who was my crew.
Everyone saw the shiny armour I wore,
Not the daggers it drove into me making me bleed,
They didn’t see I was broken to the core,
They did not offer the hand I needed.
I found my feet again in the ashes of myself,
ICU burned a lot out of me changing what me meant,
Left me with pieces that no longer fitted together,
Trying to be a me that no longer exists.
I have scars I can’t look in the mirror to see,
I have scars that mean I can’t look in the mirror,
I have scars that killed the 2015 me,
I have scars that give me pain everyday,
I have scars that I know I will get more of.
I am the best me I will ever be right now,
To me that’s pretty messed up as I’m broken,
I’m held together by my force of will and love,
I will get to a stage where I can’t battle anymore,
When that day comes who will shed a tear?
Likely 5-10 people but they will matter because they loved me
