Why do you talk about me like I’m not here,
At the end of my bed you stand and stare,
I hear you talking about my care,
I’m not tolerating the reduced air.
Then the words that I fear,
One last chance before a Tracheotomy,
But now I'm less sedated don’t ever underestimate me,
You don’t understand my strength of will,
You turn down my air and I force my lungs to work,
It is hard work to keep on breathing even with the aid of a ventilator,
Soon the decision for extubation,
This is cause for celebration.
Tube out my throat the start of healing,
Oh what a wonderful feeling,
Wait a minute why do I have to think to breath,
Why is it not so easy,
All my energy put into breathing,
The slightest movement is fatiguing.
I remember not thinking about breathing,
Not having to force air into my chest,
Why can’t I return to normal,
Why is everything I do a problem,
Barely able to move myself,
Unable to wash myself.
But I am a force of nature,
After a few days I forgot about breathing,
But my lungs remembered,
My next stage was to get to walking.
The physio-terrorists come in to see me,
Get to sit on the edge of the bed,
After 5 minutes I’m nearly dead,
After a few days I get aided into the shower,
Cleaning yourself even if aided has a special power.
Next comes walking as I regain my voice,
The Taurus my friend and enemy,
First day they want me to use the frame to pivot to the seat beside my bed,
I go for a walk to the ward room door instead,
Exclamations come out in surprise,
I’d lost a lot of weight and I was frail,
But never underestimate my power of will.
Each day I walk a little more,
Nurses watching as I grow stronger every day,
Starting to walk twice, thrice a day,
Leaving HDU I had no central lines, no ventilation or ng feeding,
I was not back to normal but the first time in months I look like a human.
No comments:
Post a Comment