My eyes open is my torment over,
Have I return to my life once more,
Why can’t I speak? Where is my voice,
Why is there a tube in my throat? Where has my strength gone.
What is this place I find myself,
Who are these people staring at me,
Nurses, Doctors and Family,
Oh thank god my nightmare is over.
“You're in ICU” is all that I parse,
I look and see faces I vaguely recognise,
Part dream, part reality. Unsure what is true,
Is this a delusion, confusion or the truth.
It is hard to tell what is real when your brain has been misleading you,
When you have to question all that is said to you,
Family tell you it’s ok,
Doctors tell you your on your way,
That it’s remarkable that you have recovered.
In this room where I lay so much action every day,
Bells, bleeps, people coming and going,
My family looking worried.
The tube in my throat very uncomfortable,
Pulling at my lips, but I am aware why it is there,
Raising my hand to get suction because I feel like I am drowning,
The nurse frowning saying that not much came up,
But doing it again when I insist this time moving the weight in my chest,
The relief you will never know, that moment of compassion you have shown.
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