Recovery

Three years on and still in recovery,

Still on my grind to recover me,

Taking more steps on my journey of discovery,

Trying to dig down to uncover what I can see.

Lots of love coming at me,

From around the globe I’m seen,

Everyone knows what my journey has been,

Everyone helped me be the best I can be.

New friends for support ignited my cause,

Pushing me forward to my end goal,

Giving me means to help others out,

And on that path help me recover,

And rediscover what it’s like to be me.

Maybe I’ll never be whole again,

That’s ok because I like the new me,

I really like him he throws caution to the wind,

Doesn’t care what you think,

But comfortable in his own skin

Thanks for reading guys, I wrote this on the trip to my immunology appointment, I was thinking about what I have been through because I was going to a new Dr as mine has left. I knew I was going to have to explain nearly 15 years of medical history in an hour appointment. They said what every Dr ever says to me when they take over my care, "You're very complex." or "You have a lot of things going on" or "Your immune system is very complicated." Anyway I hope you enjoy, if you have any idea or topic you want me to have a pop at writing a poem about leave a comment or DM me on twitter. I love a challenger so feel free to contact me.

Medical Truth

Medical Truth

Lack of knowledge is not shame,

Shame is knowing there is a problem and doing nothing,

Shame is knowing you can shine a light but remaining dark,

Never Apologise for not knowing something,

You will never know everything,

But effect change when you know you can.

I am burning bright, shining the light on the darkness,

I will show you the problem but you need to carry it to victory,

I’m not capable but you can affect the change we need,

I will show you the effect and the aftermath,

You know me, know my truth, know my scars,

Make those who come after not suffer like me.

‘This is how it's always be done’ isn’t good enough,

Change is coming so paddle with me,

Join me in the journey to make things better,

Never should a patient be met by ignorance and lack of understanding,

Little changes make big differences,

You are not too small to make a huge impact,

In two minutes, you can reassure a Delirious patient,

That will change their world, make it a little less dark.

How you act, how you speak affects the world around you,

People will look up to you, people will model themselves after you,

How you carry yourself will be mimicked in those you train,

As a Consultant, you will train hundreds or thousands of juniors,

You will impact them and their patients which will total in the hundred thousands,

Changing your practice will impact on those around you.

When you ask for my forgiveness, I can’t give it,

There is no blame for you to bear,

You did what you were trained to but changed when reality showed you differently,

I bear nothing but love for you, people like you have saved my life more than once.

Life is hard I’ve had it tough at times being wore down by life,

I was smashed by the hammer of fate more than a few times,

But you are ground down by sandpaper taking from you a little each day,

I see you, respect you and hold you in my heart,

Together we can make an impact but it is only a start.

Hey, guys so it came to my attention that after delirium awareness day and all the new insights that came with it including things like my story that there was a lot of guilt going about. Guilt because people started to reflect and think perhaps how they had treated people, how they had acted and the impact that had on those people. So, I am here to share some more truths, I don’t hold anyone responsible for anything in my delirium time, if you don’t know it has an impact then how can I be mad. I am mad at how poor education was about it, I am mad that you were not prepared properly. All that said, I’ll be mad if in the face of these revelations you don’t change how things are done. I am not saying things should change overnight, I am not naive but things need to change.

Campaigning for Delirium

Campaigning

I sat there in the bright lights,

My stomach-churning anxiety rising,

Will do alright or will I fail,

Stuttering my way through,

Embarrassing right?

It’s very important I get it right,

The message so strong and impactful,

Please let me not be the weak link,

Though Anxiety rising clarity forms,

In that one take, I nail it all.

Elation, Jubilation, Success it’s done,

But just stage one of the effort is done,

A battle lifelong the issue will take,

But each little gain, lives are saved,

So very thankful to have survived for this day.

No more in the Darkness Delirium is,

Cast light on the monster outing it here,

Keep intact what patients hold dear,

Improvement and understanding will banish this foe.

Nearly it did beat me, But in the end, it failed,

All my hardships previous in comparison paled,

A difficult opponent Delirium was,

Better support in this fight is my cause.

So, in ending I say but one thing,

The unspoken enemy’s name shall be screamed,

Delirium we’re coming, is the important thing,

We will defeat you but only as a team,

Doctors, Nurses, Patients and Family.

My Delirium story (in about six minutes)

Hey guys so as you know world delirium awareness day is coming up so I took to my iPad and recorded a brief video on delirium. I did it because sometimes hearing is more powerful than reading, I am hoping to convince myself to record more of these short videos. I am excited to be doing work with Healthcare Improvement Scotland as I am always appreciative of any opportunity to help people learn from the bad things that have happened to me.

This video was done on the fly as it is best for me so my anxiety doesn’t build up, it is unedited except to cut the bit of me turning the recording off. This is how I would speak to you a human being.  Hope you enjoy and are not distracted by my massive forehead or wild hair. I know it’s what you where thinking. But seriously please please please read all the delirium related material that will be coming out from all the places over the coming weeks. Learn the signs and symptoms even if you are a seasoned consultant or a member of the public, knowledge is power and you could change someone’s world by understanding.