Blood Draw

Viens healing after years of blood draws,

Scarring formed from excessive abuse,

Pain growing with there ever use,

These blood tests needed to decide my fate,

Doses and drugs affected by their results.

These simple tests saved my life,

Found conditions before symptoms,

Identified conditions when our hair we where pulling,

Found my complexity and genetic issues,

Autoinflammatory issues hidden until the blood draw.

The Dark Red liquid as valuable as gold,

The loss of it in large amounts fatal,

But the gift of it in Pints a noble cause,

Many units I've had, Thank god for every donor.

If you are ever wondering what the greatest gift is?

Donating blood is high on the list,

Saving a life every 2 months! Woah that's great,

I owe my life to donors giving me my life,

Without a thought saving people like me.

Those bags famous on TV  as if infinite,

Misleading facts, Blood not wanted to run out,

The kindness of strangers keep those in need alive,

When down fighting for your life the gold heaven sent.

Blood giving the strength to fight,

The energy as well as protecting organs from its lack,

Life restored in the worst of cases,

Now let's talk about White Gold aka Platelets,

Stopping bleeding in those without,

Stopped me bleeding to death from ITP,

White and Red gold, Life-saving, a Most precious gift given.

Hey guys, I just want to say, anyone who is reading this and has donated blood, thank you from the bottom of my heart. That act probably saved someone's life, that is a fact, you are a hero. There is no measure of the value of that gift.

If you haven't given blood I would implore you if you can give blood please seriously consider doing it. If for no other reason than if you were in an accident you would want there to be your type of blood ready for you if you needed it.

If you are in Scotland you can check here to see if you can give and where here: https://www.scotblood.co.uk/giving-blood/

England: https://www.blood.co.uk/

Wales: https://www.welsh-blood.org.uk/giving-blood/

Northern Ireland: https://nibts.hscni.net/donating-blood/where-to-donate/

American Red Cross: https://www.redcrossblood.org/

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the poem and maybe consider giving blood if you haven't already.

Roleplay

Everyday masks we do wear,

Everyday roles we do play,

In every way guarded against harm,

Walls blocking insight and prying.

Keep them at arms reach,

At distance cause no harm,

Trust lets them past the walls,

Once inside they can stab your back.

Only the most loyal allowed in,

Only true friends see your pain,

Only blood see the scars,

They bear your weight in the need.

We wear faces for situations,

Strong for those needing help,

Calm in the face hate,

Stoic in the face of loss,

Love for those alone.

Everyday rarely we show our true self,

Trust comes hard to us,

Love sometimes gave too easily,

Self-worth underestimated.

Your Greatness, hidden even from yourself,

Society makes you think less of yourself,

You are worth a whole lot,

Never forget your loved and respected.

My Weakness, My Failing

Doubt creeps in my vision and thoughts,

My shortcomings more apparent,

Physically less able but mentally acute,

My body unable to keep up with mental ability,

My fight and drive powered by that taken from me.

With each passing year, I look at less and less of me,

The wounds and scars showing whats taken,

Every grey hair a reminder of the speed of time,

I look around me seeing the limitations imposed on me,

I entrench myself trying to do what I can.

But my naivety led me to think I would be unmoved,

The deeper I dug in the more taken from me,

Youth blinded me to the cost of my obstinate belief,

Unseeing that stealthy little thief,

My Immune system weakening me laying me bare,

For that infection that took my air,

Took my mind and nearly took my life,

But it lit a fire in me to keep fighting regardless of strife.

My body doesn't like me,

It keeps trying to kill me,

Attacking my organs with impunity,

Ileostomy what's left behind,

Scars growing in number, taking over my skin,

These are my failings for all to see.

‘ARDS times

I used to make jokes about my own health,

Got a good heart and lungs and little else,

It was how I dealt with my life and the hand I was dealt,

It was my anchor the thing to be proud of,

My powerhouse intact, pristine.

In my recovery my weakness and shortness of breath,

Put down to the battle fought and won,

Recovery takes time and ICU takes much,

I thought it was just a phase, I would be strong again,

But unknown to me the ARDS I had in ICU took more than I thought,

Scarred what was pristine,

No longer untouched, no longer fully functioning.

On the PET scans it was shown,

 But only in the forth report it was written,

Only on review of my letters was I aware of ARDS,

Time to adapt again, time to change, time to overcome,

Let down is how I am feeling.

Blindsided by my lack of knowledge,

Left unprepared, left worrying, left broken,

The power of knowing my body taken away,

Left to think that my recovery is just slow,

When in fact it will never be done.

But good friends’ and family support I have,

They will hold me up when I am down,

Pull me up when I fall,

Love me even when I do,

In spite I will keep on living,

Keep on writing,

Keep on talking,

Keep on advocating.