‘ARDS times

I used to make jokes about my own health,

Got a good heart and lungs and little else,

It was how I dealt with my life and the hand I was dealt,

It was my anchor the thing to be proud of,

My powerhouse intact, pristine.

In my recovery my weakness and shortness of breath,

Put down to the battle fought and won,

Recovery takes time and ICU takes much,

I thought it was just a phase, I would be strong again,

But unknown to me the ARDS I had in ICU took more than I thought,

Scarred what was pristine,

No longer untouched, no longer fully functioning.

On the PET scans it was shown,

 But only in the forth report it was written,

Only on review of my letters was I aware of ARDS,

Time to adapt again, time to change, time to overcome,

Let down is how I am feeling.

Blindsided by my lack of knowledge,

Left unprepared, left worrying, left broken,

The power of knowing my body taken away,

Left to think that my recovery is just slow,

When in fact it will never be done.

But good friends’ and family support I have,

They will hold me up when I am down,

Pull me up when I fall,

Love me even when I do,

In spite I will keep on living,

Keep on writing,

Keep on talking,

Keep on advocating.