My bowels, my surgery and my scars

Above is my abdomen at the moment I had surgery in August and it’s taking a while to heal so hence the dressing. Scar one is my original stoma site 0 was a stoma put in ~2010 it was placed as an emergency because I was bleeding profusely and wanted to die but it was the greatest thing ever because it stopped the pain of my ulcerative colitis and made me feel so much better I went from 60kg ish to about 75 kg and for 2 years it was bliss, I didn’t and still don’t like my stoma but it was a vast improvement. Then I started getting peristomal hernia and bowl twisting issues, I have had with that stoma maybe 8-10 hospitalisation with twists and two resulted in peristomal hernia repairs until 2015 when it was moved to site 2 now this stoma had no chance of surviving and it I am honest I am surprised it lasted as long as it did, it was another emergency move but one month after it I was in ICU for my coma time I went from 90kg down to 65kg (i’m 6’1” for reference) so all the muscle it was stitched to and relying on was wasted away. That brings us to site 3 relocated in late August 2018 it is December at this moment and it has not fully healed because site 2 got infected and went septic, ML my mid line wound which was about 10-11 inches long dehisced (burst open)leaving a wound 2 and a half inches deep and four inches wide. Thus it has taken a long time to heal needing the assistance on vacuum dressings and Iv antibiotics to treat the infection which undermined it in the first place. The reason the area around 1 and 2 is so saggy is that it was heavily herniated and I have lost 12kg so I have a lot of loose skin, my abdomen doesn’t have many flat places it is akin to the alps

Remember just because someone looks normal (and I do most of the time because of how I dress and the behaviours I use to draw attention away from it) doesn’t mean they’re not scars lying underneath. This trauma on me is easy to see once the barriers are removed but it’s exactly the same for all trauma we put up barriers to protect ourselves all you need to do is know how to look or what to ask. Whether the scars are physical or mental remember they are the result of trauma and are often hard fought for, they should be treated with respect and dignity. I am very anxious about posting this as the internet is often a nasty place but I think this might help some people so it is worth any shit that comes my way. Just remember people we all have scars never be ashamed of your battles and remember no matter how hard your fight there is always people to talk to even if it’s just on Twitter.