Thursday 27 December 2018

The Evolution of Mark

Version 1(arrogant)
Born with a serious glint in my eye,
No in fact a terrible squint in my eye,
Dyslexia made Academia hard,
Struggling for each inch, each yard,
Cocky little dude who had it to easy.

Until 14 his life was pretty easy,
Doing well at school, no struggles,
Diagnosed with ulcerative colitis,
As well as Autoimmune Hepatitis,
This was his end he turned the light out,
He wasn’t equipped for the fighting.

Version 2 (Angry) 
Every three months in the hospital admitted,
Difficult to control my conditions,
Changing of pills and increasing steroids,
Rage building in my soul,
Part pills and part self hatred.

Hard to get along with,
In constant pain, lashing out,
Hard to live with,
But hard to be,
Conditions downward spiralling.

Till the fateful week where the bowl failed,
Blood running fast,
A wish to be dead,
Begging to end it all,
No fight in his souls.

He died no the surgical table,
Metamorphosis brought about a new age.

Version 3 (Mr Grit)

After the Surgery entered Mr Grit,
A fighter at his core,
Not stopped by twists, surgeries,
Nor ITP nor Neutropenia,
Going head long through every fight.

A kinder version but still hard on the edges,
Softening over the years despite the fights,
Helpful when you needed him,
Few friends but ride or die with them,
Until the 27th December 2015.

The date etched on my soul and my bones,
The start of the worst time in my life,
It was only a couple of days till I was fighting for my life,
The end of Mr Grit,
In the darkness of hospital recovery,
In the darkest of times spawned Mr Positivity.

Version 4 (Mr Positivity)

Modern Day Mark is so different,
Positive, supportive, Strong,
Undefeatable, different goals,
Different life, limited but not demished,
When down and out came the light inside.

Came the ability and experience to help,
Story laid bare for the benefit of others,
A part of my soul given to those who need the words,
A shoulder or hand given to those who wish it,
An ear to those who wish to share or commiserate.

A conscious choice to bring positivity,
To be as positive as can be,
If asked to help and able to, do,
A hand given because it’s right,
Knowledge shared freely.

Experience explained,
Turning the darkness into light,
Making the bad into good,
Staying positive when wounds turn infected,
Staying upbeat when life is affected,
Always looking back always reflecting.

Proud of who I am,
More friends now than I ever expected,
So very moved to be respectfed.



Hey guys thanks for reading, today is the 3rd anniversary of my admission that sent me to icu so after over coming my first panic attack in over a year I decided to set aside an hour to compose these and reflect on my life. I am so proud of the volunteering I do and I am so very humbled when I am asked to speak at events. I am so glad to have been given the chance to make my bad times into positives for other people and I am glad for each and everyone of you reading This because you have supported me in my recovery. My recovery from ICU will never be over as the after effects are still being felt and will no doubt linger as they have got worst with the passing years not better. I thank each and every one of you for your help support and love. I thank those who have asked me to speak, volunteer or help out, it means the world to me, you all know who you are.

Please feel free to comment or share 

With great joy

Mark


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