Imposter

Imposter

Here I stand feeling very out of place,

An ‘expert’ but in fact just a massive fake,

Having bad things happen to you,

Is not intelligence or excellence, it’s just bad luck.

My ‘skills’ that of surviving,

Engrained in my DNA not taught,

Hard to pass on to those who have fought,

There is little special in me,

Other than my ability to speak about my journey.

I stand in the team as an equal,

It’s amazing that they can’t see,

The fraud I’m perpetrating here,

My training? Laying in a bed not dying,

Enough said?

These people here my colleagues,

Some friends look for me to help,

Only wisdom I have is what fighting taught me,

The fight took much from me,

But gave me great friends and confidence.

Others greater than me think I can help,

So my soul I bear for all to see,

In the blind hope it helps even one person,

Helping people the most noble cause,

I just hope it’s not pain I bring.

So this I say in finishing, 

These are the internal voices,

They say I’m worth less than I am,

They make me think less of myself,

They undermine my confidence,

This is all true.

But they don’t define me nor you,

I do things to spite them,

 I do things in spite of them,

They will not control me,

I will fight them,

I’m too strong for them to win.

I wrote this on the bus to InS:PIRE as I wanted to be ‘productive’ on my journey. I think everyone has felt like they didn’t belong in a job or a role. I wrote this for people who feel that way and to tell you that you deserve to be in whatever role or position because your hard work got you there. You are good enough and don’t let that nagging voice tell you otherwise.